Times have changed. They have changed so much that “love” and “relationships” are ideas and dreams rather than reality. This transition occurred due to the fact that men are not committing to relationships as much as before. Women will quickly point to the fact that men are dogs but lack the loyalty of a dog. Despite man’s predisposition to want to have sex with any woman that says “hello”, there are other contributing factors keeping men from taking that next step.
In this day and age, technology has made it impossible to remain focused on one particular task or one particular person. A world that was once separated by six degrees, is now separated by two degrees if that. Today, men have access to a lot more women. They have more options. Social networks such as Twitter and Facebook open up doors that were not there before. There is no urgency for a man to commit because in his mind, there will always be someone else.
In addition to having access to more women, a lot of those women are making it easy for men to “close the deal” without signing on the dotted line. Drink the milk without buying the cow, so to speak. These women have little to no “emotional” standards. Basically, they are content with physical & financial gratification without the emotional attachment. Unfortunately for women looking to snag a good man, these women have all of the little attention men have to give.
While the immature nature of men stand in their way of committing, confused women also makes it difficult for a man to make a decision on where he wants the relationship to go. When it comes to relationships, even the greatest leaders take their cue from the woman in their life. If she’s confused about what she wants, he clearly will not take the relationship any more serious than he is. Also, women often communicate in signals and expect men to decipher them. At times, these unspoken messages are mixed and are often ignored or misread. It is important for a woman to communicate clearly to a man what she wants and not leave it up to him to figure things out. Discovering what women really want is very challenging to a man. Yes, there are the obvious basics that include attention, affection, honesty and security but there are details of each aspect that are particular to each woman. How much attention does she need? What kind of affection does she desire? What level of commitment does she require of me? These are some of the questions that men need the black & white responses to.
One of the biggest reasons men do not commit to real relationships is because women have let “alternative” relationships become acceptable. More and more women are settling for situations, arrangements, and agreements rather than relationships. They act like girlfriends and wives without making things official. Instead, they accept being his “shawty” or “wifey”. Furthermore, they do not hold their men accountable for his actions. While she’s acting like the perfect housewife, he’s out being single. He has the best of both worlds.
There is no strategy that could be employed that will get a man to commit wholeheartedly. It is something that he chooses to do when he is ready. A woman has to be patient but she also has to make sure that he is taking the steps that will lead to a commitment. She also has to be clear about what her expectations are and make sure that he knows what those expectations are also. Furthermore, it is important that she knows what he wants out of the relationship. Lastly, she should never settle for a man who does not want to commit if that is something she aspires for.
Written By: Marvin Ady
Follow Marvin on Twitter@Theadyproject
So you’ve met Mr. Right or Mr. Right now and tonight is the night you’ve been dreaming of all year,month,week and minute lol. You look good, you smell good and you’re wearing the Victoria Secret lingerie set you just brought. Nothing can go wrong, at least that’s what you think…
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My man and I have been living together for a year now and I noticed that he’s been acting strange. I went threw his phone to see what’s going on and I found out that he’s been seeing someone else for months now. I confronted him about it, he said she was just a jump off and he would stop seeing her. It’s been two months since that happened, and he is acting up again! I got the new pass code to his phone and saw that he is still in contact with the same woman and they see each other on a regular basis. I’m about to go nuts Fab!!! What should I do?
Friends with benefits, jump-off’s, booty calls, shone’s, hoes, side piece, fuck buddies, what’s the difference??? There is none!!! With sex being so casual these days people often have a rotation of woman and men that they sleep with. Why is that? In this generation people no longer view what was supposed to be something sacred between a man and a woman as realistic. Have we been desensitized by music video’s, reality TV and movies? Woman are known for being “gold diggers” and men are known for being “liars & cheaters” in today’s society. As the divorce rates sky rocket people have lost faith in the traditional values and conform to the “I gotta get mines” attitude. Most woman and men weather they want to admit it or not have found themselves in similar positions. The key factor here is HONESTY! Tell your prospective partner what you want and what you are looking for that way everyone is on the same page! Never try and sell somebody a dream so that you can fulfill your own selfish desires. Woman tend to get emotional down the road and can’t handle the idea of the man sleeping around, so fellas save yourself the drama of her snapping and be completely honest! Ladies know your WORTH!!!
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I don’t know what to do about my boyfriend. We’ve been together on and off for two years and I’m always catching him in one lie after another! He tells me he is in the studio then I get a call from my girls telling me that he’s in the club. When I confront him he denies it. One time I asked my girlfriend to take a picture of him with her phone and send it to me. When I showed him the picture he said it was not him! I love my man but I can’t trust him. How do I make him stop lying???
I’m recently single and I’ve been on a couple of dates with no success! I’ve heard so many success stories from online dating and I’m thinking of trying it! The only problem is that I’m scared of what people may think and what if someone I know see’s my picture…Would I Look desperate?
I live in Chicago and I’ve been married for 8 years to my high school sweetheart. We have two kids together and he is really close to his family especially his mom. She has keys to our house and pops up unannounced all the time. He has to call her every day and tell her goodnight before he goes to sleep. When she comes over she opens up our mail dissecting our monthly bank statements. She is constantly criticizing my cooking and how I raise our kids. Before my husband makes a decision he has to ask her for her approval. I’ve talked to my husband about his mom on multiple occasions yet he does nothing about it. He usually ignores me when ever I bring her up and tells me that I’m “to dramatic”! I’m sick and tired of his mother and everyday she gets worse! She is pushing me to the limit!!! What should I do?